Mommy misery

I cried all the way home.  My daughter and her best friend had a falling out.  I thought it was a misunderstanding and quickly resolved but it turned out it wasn’t.  My daughter came home and drew an elaborate picture, put a real stamp on it, and as a second thought, included her beautiful pink unicorn Valentine.  As we got out of the car she said, “If I give this to Danielle, she might want to be my friend again.”

I was shocked because I figured all that was over with.   Little girls can be so fickle – I remember my tiffs – but I remember the loneliness more.

I never cared about being popular so I never had a big crowd I attached myself to.  My mom encouraged me to branch out and have more than one friend.  “What if she’s absent?” she would try and reason to me.  It didn’t matter.  I wanted my one friend and I wanted her to myself.  I can remember my best friends all the way since kindergarten.

K – Jennifer.  She had cornsilk hair and blue eyes.  She moved away.

1 – Kristie.  But she had her own best friend already, Davina.  Davina was a Jehovah’s Witness.

2 -Megan McBroom.  She was already bulimic in the second grade.

3- Still Megan.   (We moved – no more Megan)

4-  I won’t write her name because it’s very unusual.  I don’t want her to do a web search and find my blog.

5 – Pam.  Her father was a pastor.  Half Asian, half Caucasian, she was my brother’s first crush.    She looks remarkably like his fiancee.  (Both of us moved away – her to Lake Tahoe and me deeper in the Valley)

6 – Monique  (She moved) and Erin (mom married money, she dropped me for a more popular crowd)

7 – Jennie  (She moved)

8- Marissa (Also dropped me for a more popular crowd)

High school brought lots of different friends; I think I could probably pick a favorite but it’s not worth it.  I am still close to my 6th grade friend – we were maids of honors in each others weddings.     Proverbs 17:17 says  “A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.”  Makes you wonder, if there is a real falling out, were you ever friends?

It’s like that age old question, “Can someone lose their salvation?”  The answer I hear most often is, “Well, she was probably never saved in the first place.”  If someone doesn’t love at all times, or drops us for a more popular crowd, were they ever friends?  What I never knew then, but I know now, is that real friends are really hard to find and I protect them fiercely now.

Well, the Bible doesn’t lie, so I can’t say – but it really felt like love to be with those girls.  We cared for each other, listened to each other and had a lot of fun with each other.   We were friends even if we aren’t anymore.  I got a facebook friend request from Marissa about a month ago.  I almost emailed her back, “Are you kidding?”  It took three weeks for me to say “yes” because I decided Jesus would accept anyone’s friendship.  She posted a really friendly birthday message for me, which I ignored.  I mean, you can only be so Christlike, right?

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One response to “Mommy misery

  • Sam

    You know, i’m the same way.

    kindergarten until i moved to another school in 4th grade, my one and only friend was michelle (and we still keep in touch even though our lives went two very different paths), she was my moon and stars. When i went to another school my best friend was another girl named michelle, when i got back, michelle had other friends, and i was pushed aside a little (although still her friend) and my very best friend became a girl named stephanie. It was that way until 7th grade when i began to hang out with a large group of people, but still, i would only focus on one of them. Almost hyper-focusing on them, honestly.

    When those special friendships ended, it was so hard. I don’t make friends easily at all. As an adult i was doing better. I had two very good friends, both moms, both very understanding, and then they both moved out of town and i don’t have anyone anymore. Its so strange, to be parted with friends not because we fought or we moved on, but because of distance and life. I miss them both more than I can say.

    Its hard to change your ways after so many years and branch out, but i’m learning. Slowly.

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