Meds without shame

If you’ve been hanging around here for a while you know I am open about what kind of meds I’m on and why.

If you know me in real life, you probably don’t know I take medicine at all. In fact, unless you guessed (and someone has) you don’t even know I’ve got this going on.

I figure it’s nobody’s business.  My closest friends know I take pills, but most others don’t.  I know that I add to the stigma of mental illness by treating it so privately; but it is private.

My daughter, Small, started taking prescription fluoride and is really excited about it.  She wants to take pills like mommy does.  Initially I was very upset about this.  I didn’t want her to live a life marked by medication.  I didn’t want her to think you have to have drugs to be okay.

But here’s the problem:  I do have to have drugs to be okay.  I want her to live a life based on truth; Why would I want her to believe anything else that it’s normal, even desirable, to be able to take medication, if someone needs it.

There is no sin in this, no moral issue, and really no problem caused by taking meds everyday.  She is excited about it; not embarrassed.

When I first took Abilify, I was very, very excited.  I went from having the worse kind of racing thoughts to the thoughts slowing and then hitting a wall and then nothing.  This all happened within a half hour of taking the pill – no more suicidal thoughts- no more homicidal thoughts.  I was enamored.  I have had that relationship with about 1/2 of my medications.  They’ve done miracles for me.  So why I am ashamed of them?

My mom mentioned that Small was going on about her pills and was very excited about it;  my mom was concerned.  I told her (mostly) what I’ve told you.  She let the issue drop, but I don’t think she agreed with me.

The fact is, I need medicine to live.  The Bible says “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to you.”

The wisest thing I can do is take medicine every day.  And there is nothing wrong with it.  I think that is the wisdom I received from God – it is okay to rely on medicines to make me well.  The medicine does not take the place of God.  I know other folks read the Bible and come up with the idea that all mental illness is a result of un-confessed sin, or spiritual strongholds.   There is a possibility that might be  a factor, and if it is use my Lamictal (and my Lithium, and my Abilify, and my…..)   as a sword, a powerful weapon in my fight against it.

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2 responses to “Meds without shame

  • Sam

    I agree whole-heartedly. I used to hate taking medicine and would resist even Tylenol because i remembered all the meds my mom takes and i didn’t want to depend on them like she did.

    It was stupid and caused me a lot of pain by holding onto that prejudice. It took me a really long time to admit to myself that not taking medicine doesn’t make you need it any less.

  • malakoa

    Thank you for reading! I tried to comment on your blog but I couldn’t figure out how to do it. (I love ladybugs too.)

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