I’m thinking about graduate school

There, I said it.  I’m thinking about going back to school.  Suze Orman recommends against it if the only thing you are going to do is avoid employment.  I’m not avoiding employment;  I can’t even find employment.  The jobs I want require advance degrees in psychology, so that is what I want to get.

I’d have to take three classes at the community college:  Intro to Psychology and Sociology, and Statistics.  I think my Psych 7 may work, although it shouldn’t.  I took it in summer school ll we did was watch movies such as “Silence of the Lambs” and “Forrest Gump.”

I would take the two in the fall, hopefully while my baby is at kindergarten.  I’d go to the satellite location of our local CSU and take a program that will probably take about three yars going part time.  Then I’d go to the local private school and get a M.A..  At that point I’d have to choose between Autism, Developmental Disabilities and Brain Damage.  That program takes two years, including practicum.  All and all the whole thing would take 5+ years.  I would be thirty-eight when I finished.

But I would be thirty-eight either way.  I don’t subtract years from my life by not pursuing what I want.  What do I want?  As I’ve said before, I want to non-teaching job in Education.  I want to become a Behavior Analyist.  I also wouldn’t mind college level teaching, something achievable with a master’s degree.  Right now I feel like I’m not prepared for anything.  Sure, I have a bachelor’s degree from a prestigious University, and a teaching credential, but I don’t want to teach anymore.  More likely I don’t want to deal with administration any more.  If I were to go back to teaching I’d have to deal with Principals and Vice Principals as well as the Special Ed folks.  I am not prepared to do so.  I never have been.  I also don’t really want an incompetent, immature, passive agressive  staff to deal with.

The Bible says,  “Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.”  I feel gifted in teaching classroom management and creating behavior plans.  Mr. R and OHS trained me a lot in this way.

I feel like I had a lot of hard times, though, in my classroom:  Difficult people, slander, gossip. I’ve also had a very hard time with my illnesses- suicidal thoughts, times in the hospitals, and struggling with the symptoms that come with bipolar, OCD and ADHD.  These could be death sentences.  Praise God that they were not for me.  The Bible says, the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.”  In the world, I might be disqualified from service.  The same is for the church.  I could lie down and forget all I’ve been through – never think of going back to work – never think of ways I can help others – give up on Church and God.

But this is not here to punish me:  God does not punish.  The book of John says: “As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?

“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.”  Then, he healed him.

That said, I better not forget the lessons I learned in my classroom and in my life.  Joseph, the braggart and the one with the special coat says, “Joseph said to them, ‘Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.'”  We also know that, “We are conscious that all things are working together for good to those who have love for God, and have been marked out by his purpose.”


One response to “I’m thinking about graduate school

  • jb

    If ths is God’s plan for you then it is not my place to dissuade you. But I would be a bad friend if I did not offer my perspective: grad school is not like a job that you can turn off and come home from. When I was working on school stuff I felt guilty for neglecting my son. When I played with my son I felt constantly weighed down by all the school stuff I wasn’t doing. I hated it. I never felt I had properly bonded with my little boy and when I finally finished my (part time by then) grad school work, my relationship blossomed with my toddler and he became so much more emotionally connected to me. I will always wonder if I harmed his development by not being fully mentally “there” during his first 2 yrs of life.

    So I beg you, humor me and shop around to find out if the undergrad degree in Psych is really actually needed for the Masters you want – especially given your extensive experience with children. Most Psych MAs will accept applicants with 4 yr degrees in a lot of subjects other than psych.

    Good luck and God Bless

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