I have a friend, well, had probably, that I was really close to. She was in my wedding. We lived together for a while. She was and is very special to me.
The problem is in her family dynamics. They are very punitive. For example they used a belt to punish their preschooler. I’ve seen them give their oldest a bloody nose. Thing at their house are violent. So violent that I called CPS once.
The mother, that said, is one of the sweetest, smartest person I know. The husband is extremely generous. Their oldest son and I are good friends and love each other a lot. I don’t know the rest of the children that well.
The other day was the oldest’s birthday. I’ll call him “Steve”. Steve and I talked on the phone for twenty minutes about what was going on with his life, school and church. He told me to check out his new friend’s website. I promised I would.
What I found was reprehensible. This guy spanked newborns because they cried when they had to go to bed. He’d smack kids and tell them not to cry because they weren’t spanked. Spanking was the answer to everything, including age appropriate behavior like crying for milk at night and squirming in the pew.
I prayed and called CPS. The CPS worker told me to call the Police. I did. Within a half an hour the police were at their house, terrifying the family. I never mean to include them as part of this debacle. I thought they’d track down the perpetrator and find out what was going on there. I had no idea they’d bother my friends.
Now, what I think happened is this. The boy was beaten for talking to me and telling me about this man – he wasn’t allowed to write me a thank you note, even (I received an email from the mom). The mother has been forbidden to call me or talk to me (She hasn’t returned my calls.) And it goes on and on.
I am sad that the boy has been treated so badly. I am also so sad to lose my friend. The Bible tells us that “A Friend Loves at All Times, and a Brother Is Born for Adversity”. This woman was my sister. There is no doubt in my mind about this one.
“Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!”
Now, I have a husband and he is my number 1, but it was not always like that. During our courtship my friend kept me from breaking up with him over and over. I would find little things or even big things and she’d talk me through it. I know now that breaking up with my husband would have been a huge mistake. A mistake I did not make because of her.
Now, I have many friends. Good friends, close friends. But I haven’t been as close to anyone else since we “broke up” after my first call to CPS. This keeps making me sad.