The moment

“No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently.”  Agnes DeMille.

I have been reflecting on Eureka moments for the last few days.  Is there an exact moment in my life that changed everything?  Was there a decision I made that changed the balance of my life?  Or did it all happen to me, oblivious to my surroundings?

I think in retrospect, there are such moments.  Matthew, the tax collector, made his decision to leave his lucrative position and go with Jesus.  He probably had no idea he had to give up his job and family to go, but he did.  That was clearly a pivotal change in his life.

I was trying to remember the exact moment I fell in love with my husband.  It is a silly thing.  We were barely friends.  It was after a youth group meeting (we were staff, I was 24, not  14.) and he walked me out to the car.  He asked me how work was going and I told him I was having a tough time.  I looked at him and the look on his face was serious and concerned.  That was it.  I was his.  It took him more than six months later to have the same experience, but that was okay.  We didn’t even start dating until months and months later.  By the time that came around I was already a goner.  I’m glad he wasn’t one of those guys who likes to screw with women (see previous post) because he could have easily ruined my life.

But love is not the only thing that reveals itself in just a second.  In retrospect, I can pin-point the moment I lost control of my class and aides in my first teaching job.  I didn’t know it then, but it only took a few seconds.   I saw my brother grow up when we were at his good friend’s funeral.  They were in a moderately successful band together and one of musician mothers was standing next to him.  She crumbled and he did not let her fall.  He was sixteen years old.

All of these happened quickly, and seemingly randomly.  A stranger calls your name and your whole world changes.  I never would have guessed the classroom would fall apart.  I went to the funeral to pay my respects, not to see my little brother become a man.

There are other moments that are obviously life changing.  Not the day of my daughter’s birth (I had been awake for two days and hadn’t an epidural) but the day after as I held her and fed her I knew my life was irrevocably altered.  Not my wedding day, but the day after I truly connected with my new husband in a new way.  The first time I took Abilify I went from my racing thoughts to a slow gallop.

What will happen next?


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