Malakoa doesn’t regret it too much, but definitely doesn’t recommend it.

“Malakoa doesn’t regret it too much, but definitely doesn’t recommend it.”

It’s my new facebook status. But, what does it mean?

Pretty much half of the ‘it’s’ in my life. There are some things I don’t regret at all – this Jesus stuff for example – it’s one of those jump on the motorcycle with no looking back sort of deal… but what else?

I have a number of medical related almost regrets. My foot, my breast, my teeth. What I would have done again? I would never let that man who would’t return my phone calls or give me accurate information about recovery cut in to my foot. I’d listened to the non-medically trained relative who told me not to let them cut in to my breast. I’d never had gotten braces. All of these things I couldn’t have known better before but I didn’t. Not so big regrets.

I should have fought to get out of my lease so I could have gone to the Middle East – but there are so many varibles on this one I’ve got to let it go.

When the bitch who jumped off the diving board on to my head at a pool party, walked up to me a year later in her Debbie Gibson hat asking me snippily about the club my friends and I had formed in sixth grade, I would have asked if she really was the bitch who jumped on my head at that pool party. Okay, I wouldn’t do that – but I wanted to at the time. It’s not a regret so much as a fantasy.

In my perfect world I never would have dated the men/boys I dated. Almost every relationship was disaster upon disaster, lost me friends and dignity, and all the flavors of respect. That said, and I hate to put it this way, but I think these things needed to be learned through experience. Not everyone needs to learn it that way, but I did.

One day in the dorms I told off this girl’s boyfriend because I thought he was being abusive. Turned out they were just screwing around. I don’t regret it – based on the feelings I did what I thought to be the right thing. Next time, I will ask before jumping in. I won’t say I’ve learned to keep my big mouth shut, because too many wrongs are done with that philosophy in mind, but I will say I’ve learned to better investigate situations before my work starts to escalate them.

It’s past breakfast time.


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