What moms should do.

I hear so much guilt on the Gentle Christian Mothers forums, and when I chat with friends, and get it from parents, relatives, and random folks on the street. When will it stop?

Never.

I decided to compile a list of things Christian, crunchies and other moms are expected to do to remain classified as “perfect” moms, so we all have a check list of things we need to do to get rid of the guilt.
Perfect moms have four hour labors, with epidurals in a closely researched hospital.
Perfect moms have unassisted births.
Perfect moms labor selfishly for hours and hours.
Perfect moms have frozen two weeks worth of meals just in case something happens to her.
Perfect moms let the church know and let them bring food.
Perfect moms bake cupcakes from scratch for their children’s birthdays
Perfect moms buy those delicious cupcakes from Costco for their children’s birthdays.
Perfect moms cook dinner from scratch and make the bread that their kids sandwiches are made of. They also grind their own peanut butter and can their own jelly.
Perfect moms let their kids eat left over pizza for breakfast
Perfect moms would never let their kids eat refined carbs such as pizzas.
Perfect moms are vegetarians/vegan/Atkins/Weight Watchers disciples.
Perfect moms never leave their kids with sitters, even family members. Who knows what they have up their sleeves?
Perfect moms get away and refreshed for a while so they can keep being perfect moms.
Perfect moms always have their hair done, their nails manicured and their clothes ironed. Their kids are wearing neat, well coordinated clothes, down to the shoes.
Perfect moms allow their kids to choose their own clothes as a means of self-expression. They often look newly hatched. They might wear the same outfit two days in a row.
Perfect moms keep the house immaculate. But they do it while the kids are at school so it doesn’t take time away from them.
Perfect moms let their home be friendly, cluttered and let the kids have a fort in the front room.
Perfect moms homeschool
Perfect moms unschool.
If moms don’t homeschool or unschool it best be for a darn good reason.
Perfect moms send their kids to the local public school, supporting public education.
Perfect moms volunteer in their kids classrooms to see what’s going on.
Perfect moms are friends with all the parents and know the kiddos in their child’s class my name
Perfect moms are officers in the PTA meetings
Perfect moms help with homework
Perfect moms don’t take homework too serious and let their kids play instead.
Perfect moms are hecka boring because you can see they always know what happens next.
Perfect moms are delightfully consistent, which leads the children to the joys of being prepared, and therefore avoid melt downs.
Perfect moms are spontaneous and fun. Their kids seem to have adventures every day.
Perfect moms never spank their kids or slap their hands, but the kids seemed disciplined pretty well.
Perfect moms spank their kids and teach their children right from wrong. The kids seem disciplined pretty well, tool.
Perfect moms never have kids with tantrums in stores.
Perfect moms have legible handwriting.
In case you haven’t guessed, it’s all tongue in cheek. Of course we can never be “perfect” or even “great”. We just have to be “good enough”. Are you? Probably. What about this guilt? Not your friend. Kick it out the best you can. Make it an unwelcome environment, unsuitable for your brain. Then get on with it. You’re “good enough” I bet. Now, go forward.

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3 responses to “What moms should do.

  • Vesteen

    This is classic! I love the contradictions..they serve to illustrate your point. Although I am unfamiliar with the term “unschool”. Guess I can’t be perfect then, huh? 🙂 Darn!

  • Mai

    It’s all a matter of who you ask, isn’t it? I reread your first line off the bat, wondering if you messed up and meant to say “without” an epidural. 🙂 Then I read the next line, and caught on! Ha! Guess you know where my bias on that one is.
    Thank you for this reminder. :hug

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