Full blown Mania

I was sent to bed by my husband around 9:00.  I slept until 1, almost 2 o’clock in the morning.  I got up and worked on scrap-booking.  I’m making presents for everyone this year.  My grandfather is getting a tribute to my grandma in scrapbook form.  The whole idea was that her recipes word be preserved.  She was an excellent cook, but the problem is that we don’t have any recipes she made because they were all in her head.  This may prove to be a problem.  I am continuing to work on the project because I have her favorite Sara Teasdale’s poems and songs she always sang to us.  I have a few pictures I can use, and an article about my grandfather’s purple heart.  How does that sound to you?

The title of the album is “delight yourself”.  Although she was not a believer until the end of her life, she had the quote, “Eat what is good and delight yourself in fatness” on the refrigerator  She said there was something for everyone inside the Bible.

She loved the hymn “Amazing Grace” and “The Garden” “(I come to the garden alone, where the dew is still on the roses”)  I think “Bridge over troubled water” was possibly her favorite pop song.  She loved “Goblin Market” because it reminded her of her sisters.  Both of them preceded her in death and she mourned for a long time.

Here is a bit of Goblin Market.  My grandma told me you can only understand it if you have a sister.  I only have one brother, no sisters, and it’s not that I don’t like it, I just see it from another angle.  The sister sacrificed herself for the sake of her sisters.  She is clearly a Christ figure, she immerses her self in temptation and sinful people to save her sister’s life.

Tender Lizzie could not bear
To watch her sister’s cankerous care,
Yet not to share.
She night and morning
Caught the goblins’ cry:
“Come buy our orchard fruits,
Come buy, come buy.”
Beside the brook, along the glen
She heard the tramp of goblin men,
The voice and stir
Poor Laura could not hear;
Longed to buy fruit to comfort her,
But feared to pay too dear”

I think you should read this poem.  It’s online, just type in it’s name.  Also, Christina Rossetti was printed in Playboy.  Just wanted to add that.

Now that I have your attention, I want to let you know that you can survive mania.  I promised not to leave the house except for talking Small to and from school, and to her play rehearsals.  We’re going to get our family photo today.  My hair is greasy because I haven’t washed it in three days, but it looks horrible it’s first day so I might just keep it this way.  I’m remembering to eat, taking almost twenty pills one sip of water at a time.  I got a pill stuck in my throat once, so I am more careful now.  I’m not flirting with men online (I don’t do that often).  I’m going to try and get chores done, but that most likely is not going to happen.

Other things to do to respond to the mania:  Take very hot baths or very cold showers.  Stay away from sweets.  Yesterday I felt like I was going into shock because I was eating cookies at a Christmas party, so don’t do that.  Eat regularly.  I find that to be especially difficult as I reach for the potato chips instead of a real meal.  It’s too easy to do that, but eating makes me feel oh so much better.  I crave alcohol at this time, but am good at getting away from it.  Mr. Malakoa has hard cider in the refrigerator and that is hard to resist, but I try not to think too much about it.  (I am a borderline alcoholic.)  Do try to get some sleep.  I’ll try to go to bed early but probably can’t.  If I wanted to take a nap now I couldn’t because it’s too early in the morning.  I wish I could because Small is at school and I could try and sleep un-interrupted. But I can’t.

The Bible warns about this, though.  It says, “A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest-and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man.”  I’m not too worried about it right now.  We’re already border-line poor.  I don’t know the p.c. way to say that.  I know I should get less sleep, but it’s a necessary part of treating my illness right now.  I am sad that things like this don’t seem to be something I can strive for.  There are other commandments or warnings in the Bible and I’m better about those.  I had four hours of sleep last night, but I don’t think that is what the Holy Spirit mean as He wrote those words.  He doesn’t want us sick, He wants us to be inspired and joyful.

That’s enough for today.  Thanks for reading.



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One response to “Full blown Mania

  • Mai

    Yeah, your sleeping to be well is not the same. He was probably talking about psychologically-uninteresting people who are napping when they should be working. So go sleep when you can and don’t add something to feel guilty about. I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to take care of the temple too.

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