When I started this devotional stuff, my goal was the help one person. I think I did, unless she was lying, and I don’t think she is.
Now, I have a dream of helping one hundred people. I’m far from that, however, I am strangely satisfied, as it appears I have encouraged and help with the healing of five precious sisters. It feels good and it feels like enough for now. I can manage this. I can personally counsel and care for each of them. I like that.
In other news, I haven’t seen a psychiatrist or psychologist in three weeks and I miss them. I discovered I absolutely have to exercise for things to be okay. Doesn’t mean I’ll do it, but it helps tremendously. That and the vitamin’s D. I think they are equally effective in helping me stop talking to myself, and stop shaking. I don’t want an outer proof that I am taking medications with bad side effects. It may be vain, but if it is, well, I’m vain.
I’ve contemplated before about hiding my illness. Is my privacy more important than easing the stigma? I don’t know. I keep my screen name anonymous the best that I can. I do give my real name during email or phone conversations, but that’s it. I’m anonymous on the boards because I use the same name and try my best to be anonymous here. I am not ready for a future employer to do a web search and find out that I have a major psychiatric illness.