Now I am mad

My grandmother spent two years dying.  She had cancer.  It went in to remission and she was declared well.  Then the cancer came back and she was told that further treatment would just delay her death.  She opted not to treat herself with anything but morphine.  She lived deliberately for the birth of my daughter, who was and is her only great grandchild.  Her favorite holiday was Thanksgiving and she died the Sunday afterwards.  What else was there?

Here is the problem.  It was a sad thing for her to go.  She was in her sixties, relatively young, but they started out pretty poor.  They had four children, two of whom suck them dry.  My uncle is a methamphetamine addict and an alcoholic.  My aunt is exceedingly selfish.  The other two are self-sufficient.

It was at the end of her life that my grandma was especially ill and vulnerable.  (As I write that I realize how obvious that was, but hang with me.)  My aunt, the selfish one, bought and built a house completely beyond her means.  She has always been incredibly jealous of her younger sister and the sister was building herself and family a new house, too.  She wanted what her sister had.  The problem with this is the the younger sister was quite rich.  They have a phenomenally successful business.  If they want it, they buy it.  They have the money for it.

Now, back to my selfish aunt.  The house was built, but there was no yard.  My aunt went to my grandma and grandpa and asked for $7,000.  My grandparents, especially my grandma, have never been good with boundaries.  They gave her the money they had saved for her funeral and burial.

Now, it’s their money and it’s up to them what to do with it.  If they want to give up their life’s savings, that’s their business, but the thing that makes me so mad is that the selfish aunt knew exactly what she was doing and didn’t care.  She wanted.  She took.  She had.

My father estimates my grandfather’s net-worth at about $20,000.  He has a house he owns but the neighborhood is terrible.  It’s filled with un-reformed parolees and folks coming to the door wanting to borrow his ride on motor.  (He owns several acres.)  My parents are afraid for his life.

But what can they do?  They are trying to get him to move in with them and he doesn’t want to leave his garden.

James 4:2 “You desire and do not have, so you murder…”

Romans 12 says “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it [9] to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

I am afraid I don’t have the kindness, yet, to be too generous to her.  I will get her a soda when she comes to my parent’s house.  But it is not with my heart.  I’m not mean to her, and I feel no ill will for her family.  Her kids have suffered enough.  For example, my grandparents gives us all at $1,000 savings bond when we graduate from high school.  The aunt made her cash hers in so they could pay a bill.

We used ours to get the baby out of the hospital.  I planned on traveling all over the world and using the money to get back home.  The best laid laid plans of mice and men, Go often askew.”   The rest of Burn’s poem talks about promised joy but the reality is that they leave nothing but grief and pain.  I tell you this because I don’t want to take the verse out of context (you know how I  hate that.)  My daughter was worth the money we spent.  But was my cousins?

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