Demoralized is my new favorite word.  I’ll keep this brief because I’m tired.

This Sunday the speaker at church described being picked last for a team in school sports was demoralizing.


I can tell you that exactly twice in my entire school career that I was not chosen last.  Every last game.  It started very young.  I was bubbling over with something the other kids were scared of and they wanted little do to with me.  Also I was a terrible athlete.  Although I’ve completed a (sprint-distance) triathlon and exercise most days I still consider myself a terrible athlete.

I remember when I was in the older grades of elementary school reading a story about what things embarrassed “Kevin”.  One of them was bseing picked last.  It made him sad and embarrassed.  I thought, “It’s supposed to embarrass me?  It’s supposed to make me sad?”  I hadn’t got the telegram.  I thought things were fine.  I didn’t care either way.

Looking back, I was probably already demoralized so much that it didn’t occur to me to hurt.

Fast forward to today.  Small is in public school.  Exactly three people think this is best and I am not one of them.  I am there Monday and Fridays to help the teacher.  I’ve already spoke with the principal about some of the things I do not like that are going on in the class.  We’ve had three meetings.  The teacher was shocked.  She had asked me to check with her first before going on to the next level.  I had tried that.  She’s a kindergarten teacher, she rarely stops running her mouth.

I know two kids whose parents pulled them out of the class because of some of her shenanigans.  Even though somethings are awful I see the good parts of school.  She is a very fast, skilled runner, the best in the class and she can practice that every day.  She has good friends there and is learning about sharing, etc.  She loves getting awards like “Super Kid” or “AAA”.  I can’t reproduce that at home, it would be meaningless to her.

I’m positive that homeschool advocates have rebuttals to my above paragraph.  I know that they are, and you are right, too.  Just not right enough to convince Mr. Malakoa and Mom of Malakoa.  It’s just that Mom of Malakoa doesn’t have the right to have an opinion.  And really, no one does. God leads us in providing an education for our child, just as God has led you.  I may not like this path, but it’s where the Lord has led us.

It’s almost eleven.  Too much for tonight.


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