Out of touch

I have been MIA.  A rookie mistake and for that I am sorry.  I’ve been a tad obsessed with Grace Based Discipline and more so with Punitive Discipline like Ezzo and Pearl.  Mostly Pearl, it’s like picking off a scab.  I keep reading articles about Sean Pollack and Lydia Shatz, two children that died as a result of Michael and Debi Pearl’s teaching.  It disgusts and terrifies me.

How could someone read these books and think of them as good ideas?  Wrapping a child in a blanket so tight that he can’t breathe?  Fair enough, that was an interpretation of his punishment, but when the child died Pearls choice was not to step forward with remorse for the child that died.  He could have done that without an admission of guilt.  Instead he replied that his books “speak for themselves”.  Cruel.

I know a woman that loves the Pearls and all they teach.  Her husband is a child abuser and I’ve called CPS on them before.  The sad thing is that Pearl is less punitive than he is.  He doesn’t wait to first time obedience, he expects his (three) children to read his mind and beats them if they don’t.   It is difficult to pray for them, even for the children enduring his rein.  I know it is a source of pride that causes me to elevate myself above them;  I’m the mom who wanted to kill her baby.  I forget that and lose compassion for parents who are lost like I was.

I need to stop reading “Christian” parenting boards, too.  I read something awful about a babysitter that gave the toddler a spanking every time she had an accident.  The little girl was terrorized.  The mom wasn’t even sure this was a bad idea.

<a href=”http://musemama.blogspot.com/2010/02/bring-back-boycott.html&#8221; target=”_blank”><img src=”http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y163/AnneBasso/Blog%20Tools/ttuac7.jpg&#8221; border=”0″ alt=”Muse Mama” /></a><br />

I have a good friend here who has expressed concern that I don’t handle others problems very well.  She thinks, for this reason, I could not be a good MFT.  I don’t know if this is true.  I try to accept such comments with humility and kindness (towards myself).  Maybe I can’t.  I feel like I can connect with other mentally interesting people in a way most people, even other mentally ill people, can’t.  I feel like I’ve run the gamut, what with my early onset bipolar, OCD and ADD.  I’ve been close to killing my daughter, come to work drunk out of my skull, and gone through terrible mental health pros.

Still, things that hurt little babies or small children get to me.  I don’t know if I can handle that.  It’s just too horrible.


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