I’m not 100 percent ugly

Wondering this morning how different my life would be if I were truly beautiful.  Now, this is not a pity party designed to get sympathy.  Like my cute college roommate used to say, “I’m not 100% ugly.”  I don’t think I’m ugly at all.  I’m tall, have really good hair and a pleasant speaking voice.  When I was single I rarely went to bars or places like that, but if I went to a Christian singles event I’d get attention.  (But most of the women there were real barkers.)  (Just saying.)

But what if?  My brother is gorgeous.  I know you’d think so, he looks like that guy from Twilight.  It doesn’t matter which one – they’re all hot.  He was giving a lecture to a group of middle schoolers and he had to stop and tell them to quit taking pictures of him on their cell phones.

For many years I really wanted to be a theatre actress.  I went to a high school with some highly dysfunctional teachers who didn’t cast me in their plays.  Maybe if I were more attractive I would have done better….  But I went on to college theater and did well there.  I think I am one of those women who gets better as she gets older.  I eventually left the theatre because I thought I wanted to be a doctor.  Then I left that for academia, then….  I think it’s naive to think the only one of those professions that looks matter is acting; not true.  The only thing I’ve tried where looks don’t matter at all is blogging.  However, I know only gorgeous bloggers.

Would being prettier give me more confidence as a writer?  It might.  I could go to the trouble of fixing my hair and makeup everyday, but if I were that mentally stable  I would be working at another kind of job.  Those things are a struggle for me.  And they take all morning.

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