Wondering this morning how different my life would be if I were truly beautiful. Now, this is not a pity party designed to get sympathy. Like my cute college roommate used to say, “I’m not 100% ugly.” I don’t think I’m ugly at all. I’m tall, have really good hair and a pleasant speaking voice. When I was single I rarely went to bars or places like that, but if I went to a Christian singles event I’d get attention. (But most of the women there were real barkers.) (Just saying.)
But what if? My brother is gorgeous. I know you’d think so, he looks like that guy from Twilight. It doesn’t matter which one – they’re all hot. He was giving a lecture to a group of middle schoolers and he had to stop and tell them to quit taking pictures of him on their cell phones.
For many years I really wanted to be a theatre actress. I went to a high school with some highly dysfunctional teachers who didn’t cast me in their plays. Maybe if I were more attractive I would have done better…. But I went on to college theater and did well there. I think I am one of those women who gets better as she gets older. I eventually left the theatre because I thought I wanted to be a doctor. Then I left that for academia, then…. I think it’s naive to think the only one of those professions that looks matter is acting; not true. The only thing I’ve tried where looks don’t matter at all is blogging. However, I know only gorgeous bloggers.
Would being prettier give me more confidence as a writer? It might. I could go to the trouble of fixing my hair and makeup everyday, but if I were that mentally stable I would be working at another kind of job. Those things are a struggle for me. And they take all morning.