A rumor started that I was a lesbian.

It’s Saturday morning.  My husband and baby are out eating doughnuts and prowling the rows of a pet shop.  (We own no pets.)  This is meant to give me some time as well as building their relationship.  Since I cleaned like the maniac I am yesterday, I have no chores to do, so I can do what I want.

What do I want?  I am watching Portlandia.  If you haven’t seen it, you should.  Unless you get easily offended by things like “Safe Words” or bizarre hippies.  My guess is, if you’re still reading the blog, you aren’t.

Yesterday was a great big uproar in Eqypt and I spent a couple of hours watching it on t.v.  The internet it down, the United States is calling for the President to give legs to his claims about wanting democracy for his people.  I don’t know enough about it to have an opinion, but most of the people who have opinions don’t know anything about it either.

I was talking to a friend about my political work.  I wore adorable suits and did excellent work.  Unfortunately I was surrounded with alcohol and I do not do well with alcohol.  I love to drink.  And, as my friend pointed out, it’s “not good for someone who has impulse control issues to also have zero inhibitions.”

Sigh.  I loved working there.  Everyone I worked with was so smart and I had a sense that I was doing something important.  I had to let it all go because I thought I couldn’t *not* drink.  Turns out I can.  I don’t drink now.  I never had the gumption to try again.

I can’t get back there now.  I don’t know anyone and I’d never get a job.  35 is over the hill for the Capitol.  I don’t want to work 10-12-14 hour days, either.  I want to write all morning, exercise in the afternoon and be with Small for the rest of the time.  Although that’s not the reality, I have a very good life.  I don’t know if any of the men up in Sacramento would have the integrity to stay with me just because he said he would.   I’m sure there are, it’s just that I never went out with them.

My last summer there, a rumor started that I was a lesbian.  It helped me, I think, because I didn’t have a lot of (any) suitors and I was left pretty much alone.   I was given the freedom to drink myself in to an oblivion without getting groped.  Well, not that often, any way.

 

Parting words:  A man is in bed with two women when his wife walks in.  She is furious.  He says to her, “Come on doll, you gonna believe what you see or what i tell ya?”

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