I was sick yesterday and felt like my blood was poison and my only recourse would be a full blood transfusion, not unlike the one they gave my acquaintance who was going to die of AIDS. I told the doctor about the blood feeling like poison, I didn’t tell her about the blood transfusion. Really. I’m not crazy, I’m bipolar and I often can sort my thoughts.

i tried to sleep a lot. i still feel badly today. called doc and she said to spread out my zoloft even more. this scares me because it treats my ocd and if it’s not treated i retreat. i’ve probably told you this before, but without being treated for OCD and ADD I feel like I have a large glass turned upside down over me. I can’t relate to others, can’t approach of group of people, can’t do anything remotely social well, like attend a party or an open house. Speaking to strangers is like jumping out of an airplane.

But the Wiki warns all about death and feeling like you’re going to shock, or that you have the flu. It’s life threatening, but you knew that. I just felt horrible. I don’t feel as bad today.


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