I finally got medicine for ADHD, again. Doc was afraid it was going to launch me in to Serotonin Syndrome, but I begged. On the drugs I can be reasonably responsible and not lose things as much. I can follow lecturers and classes. I can read a book and have the, “a-ha” moments, remembering that I’ve read the book before. I am totally impulsive and eat like a bridge troll.
On meds things are different. I am not perfect, but I feel like I get it, more. I feel better than normal. I am advised to skip caffeine, fruit juices and a bunch of other not-fun-to-give-up foods. I do it some times. A good portion of the times. Some days I don’t do it at all, but I’m still okay. I feel more okay. I don’t gaze through the air, waiting for the world to stop spinning.
There are side effects. I have a nearly unbearably dry mouth and the gum that was prescribed made my teeth. I went to the dentist and he came in early to see me. He filled down one of the teeth that clashed. I feel a little better today. Staying off the teeth. It’s kind of hard, but I’m glad that is the least of my problem.
I’ve also lost 20.4 pounds without really trying. I mean, I am dieting and exercising, but not every day. Vyvanse takes away some of your appetite, and keeps you from wanting to gorge yourself. I had a milkshake the other day and was convinced that I would lose NO weight, but I did. My mother reminded me that, in the past, I’d have had a hamburger, french fries, a Diet Coke (as if) and then the milkshake. I would have a lot of trouble eating all that, now. It’s almost as easy to skip. I’m going out to a candy shop and saying, “Ooh! I want the zebra pretzel, dipped in chocolate and filled with caramel” But, I can ask myself. “Do I really want it? Do I need it?” and more often the answer is “no” and I’m cool about it. I do not think I could do this without the Vyvanse. It may be kinda cheating and if it is, I just have to say I am not competing against anyone else. We’ve got our our goals and I try to to go for it with all I’ve got. I’m not Barry Bonds, lying his way to becoming a hero. I’m just looking at me and what I need to do.