Failure – PG

I’m supposed to get a whole battery of tests every three months. I don’t like having my blood taken;  Neither do you.  So I didn’t do it.  My last tests were about a year and a half ago.  It was beyond time.

Another reason I don’t get them done is that every time things are perfect.  Why get three vials of blood sucked out of my body?  Why pee in a cup?  I’ll tell you why:  Because things aren’t always perfect.  This time it feels much, much different.  A handful of the test came back irregular.  For example, my cholesterol was high.  Also, I had urine in my blood.  I will not go on about it.  I made an appointment with my GP, who I do not like.

I was able to see her that afternoon.  It turns out things were just a little bit off.  I did have some sort of infection, she didn’t say which, but she gave me some Cipro. Normally I grill the doctor to know every single thing about my illness or injury and the side effects that go along with it, but I just didn’t have the energy.  The pills are gone:  I feel the same as I did before it.  No harm done.

After our meeting I got more test results.  “Streptococcus agalactia” which is a fancy way of saying UIT.  Babies get it too.  After my Cipro I feel mostly better, but may not be 100%.  “Greater than 100,000 cfu/ml Streptococcus agalactiae (Group B)
25,000 to 50,000 cfu/ml Mixed urogenital flora” is the official diagnosis and the numbers honestly did care me.  I know this is probably TMI, but it’s also a blog.  So there.

* ****

Learning

We went up to the mountains a few days ago and stayed until this afternoon.  The tiny cabin has a porch you can sit on and watch the lake.  Sometimes there are sailboats.  You don’t often see swimmers, it’s snow melt all year round.  My brother and his wife, my parents and my little family were all staying in this cabin.  We got to be together and just hang out.  The only real problem we had was the horses.

My mother decided to treat us to a two our horseback riding trip.  Brother, sister-in-law, both very small people, sandwiched Small.  Then came my big husband and my chubby self.  I spent the entire first hour terrified I was going to fall.  I spent the second hour running Cowboy songs through me head.  (For example, “Momma, don’t let your babies group up to be Cowboys”)  I also learned that if I squeeze the horse with my legs and grip the the horn.  That eliminates a good bit of the fear.  Also, use the reins.  Things went much easier after that. After an hour of misery.  But  I appreciated it.  I only wish I could have figured it out sooner. I wouldn’t have spent the first our absolutely terrified in just about every way.

*****

Parenting

Parenting has been a tad difficult today.  Yesterday is was pretty horrible.  B called her a brat, but I don’t like, even if the name did fit.  He told her that if she grew up at his house she would have received a lot of spankings.  She thought about it and said, “I am glad I wasn’t at your house.”  The both of them were making me crazy.  This name called didn’t help and her refusal to obey didn’t really work too well.  This makes me sad and it makes me snippy.  Having all three of us in a jittery, snippy mood is not fair.  There are times like this I think, “Wouldn’t a whoopin’ give us some peace?”  But I know it wouldn’t.  It would make B angry and leave Small wounded. I would feel that something inside me would have broken. That is good for nobody.  Today we are a more cohesive family and I think it had to do with the grace we can give each other.  I was grouchy, but I still asked B to check and see if my pills were in order.  (They weren’t, I added a pill that was more power than any pill could be.  I caught it myself  but wasn’t about to keep making dangerous mistakes.)  I am sure there have been anti-values situations I have handled, but something as important as real guidance and training I cannot believe is the right answer.  I believe I have an agreement with the Lord in this.

Lastly – Weight Loss

After week before last’s gain, I lost 24.8 pounds.  I have no idea why or how I managed that.  After our trip, where I ate like  Bridge Troll, I managed to lose.  My goal is to break 25 this week, and I believe  I can do it.  I might not do it this week.  But I have to do it.  I have to lose twelve pounds before I can work for Weight Watchers and I lose my little girl with autism in August.  If I’m strict and exercise like crazy it shouldn’t be too much of a problem.   If I do six weeks at a lose of two pounds a week it will be mid-August.  That will be a good thing.  It will be hard, but fun to lost forty pounds.  I won’t be lounging in a bikini, but I will have a flat belly.  I love flat bellies.

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