I am growing a little weary right now. I’m having job stress and am worried I am going to get fired 12 days before my contract ends. This is important because on future job applications I will have to write under “Reason for Leaving,” “fired”. Instead of “Contract expired.” Not pretty.

One of my good friends had an infection in her uterus and Fallopian tube. It went septic and she almost died. It has spread to her other Fallopian tube and she is having exploratory surgery almost as we speak. She is far away from me, so there is no chance for me to sit by her bedside or bring her ice cream.

One of my friends is kind of being a pill. We are neighbors and our kids were in the same kindergarten class. The issues she has are almost unfathomable. Anyway, she bought this great play environment for her kids and has yet to invite us over to play. It’s been at least a month and see sees us all the time. It’s not that they are busy, either. She works two Saturdays a month and her kids are not in outside activities.

Our family was also not invited to a rather important family event.

Another friend is acting unreasonable. I won’t get in to it, but he can be a real pain in the ass and I’m not even sure why we’re friends anymore. There are things that are okay for him to say to me because I usually let stuff go, but if I say the same things to him he gets really offended. Come to think of it, I’m the one that calls or ims him, unless he has vibrant emergency personal issue or a death in the family. Other wise I don’t hear from him. Why am I working so hard on this relationship? Why am I working at it at all?

I think it might have been because my so many years of lonely. I attribute that now to chemicals, but I had a really rough time for most of my life. I had to strategize about how I was going to go to a party, or a sporting event and survive the crowds. I don’t have to do that now. I can talk to strangers and acquaintances with bad reputations. I’m not 100% “perfect” but remember that “perfect” means dull and boring, two things I hope never to be


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