Well, Mother

My second cousin, A, loves my parents so she threw them a birthday party. (Their birthdays are very close to each other.) We were invited, it’s kind of expensive to get there, so we said, “No, sorry.”
But we changed our minds and decided to surprise them. We drove the two plus hours to get there, spent some time with my grandpa, then drove out to the party. After I called to nonchalantly ask where they were, we hopped out of our hidden, happy family SUV and went in to the house.
About twenty minutes later my parents got there. My dad was so shocked and happy to see us. He hugged and held me super tight like only a daddy can. He was delighted with his grand-daughter and happy to see my husband.
My mother did not even acknowledge I was there.
I don’t know why, and I’m not going to ask. It may be a mind game, it may be that she didn’t care (after all she lives upstairs for four days a week) or it may be she’s just right out rude. I am trying [i]trying[/i] to roll with this, but I still can’t. I don’t know what to do, except I know that it’s not up to me to change her. There is no gold ring I an grab that will make me feel like I am important, validated or adult in her eyes. I’m thirty-five and I’d felt like that in spurts, but it’s almost worse that way. I feel like, “Finally, I have what I need.” It wouldn’t last. She would say something condescending or refuse to comment on another thing, her silence indicating her disapproval. Or not disapproval. Who can tell? I’m not waiting for it to happen…. and yet.


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