Darn it if I didn’t click the wrong button and deleted my post again. I need to figure out how I did that, and how to prevent it, so this doesn’t keep happening. But back to the food.
I sent my husband to the store to shop for this weekend. My sister-in-law’s flight has been delayed – she is arriving here today instead of yesterday. She is vegan. We have all sorts of fresh food and whole grains. My husband eats like a vegan with meat. He will have all the vegetables in the world and most of the fruits. He adds a large chunk of fish, beef, lamb, chicken and any other animal. He dreams of foie gras. We went to a restaurant on the way up to a family reunion, he had an ostrich burger. It would have been good, he’s enjoyed it before, but it was in the freezer too long. He likes meats. He has a wheat allergy, so he stays away from flour tortillas and the vegan cupcakes I made yesterday. Without out offending my vegan friends, I say with good authority that Earth Balance is the most disgusting thing I have ever eaten. The frosting was repulsive, so I made some good, honest butter cream frosting for the rest of us to eat. The rest of us meaning me. I never should have made that frosting. I think I ate four cupcakes, and I had a few spoonfuls of the frosting. Just to get the taste of Earth Balance out of my mouth. I easily stomach the fruits and veggies, and even tofu, but cannot hang with things like “tofurkey” or cheese substitutes.
I weigh Wednesdays at Weight Watchers and I am hoping I eat moderately for the rest of the week. I would be okay if I stayed the same. I would like to lose a pound, and maybe I can if I do the vegan thing for the next few days I can pull that off. But I need protein to help keep my bipolar steady. I know there are many options for vegan protein. Mix beans and rice, eat tofu, isn’t tempeh vegan, too?
Working out double today. I am going to lift weights – squats, push press and rows, and yoga. Everyone that is important has commented how stressed I am, so I’m going for the “stress” tape. When I haven’t exercised for a while, I get really angry and punch the air. This is not a “maybe” thing. It’s like all my adrenals and stress hormones get released. I hope it results in a more relaxed, even keeled Malakoa. My sister-in-law is coming to see us from a long plane ride away, and after a long phone call with her earlier this week I burst in to tears. She doesn’t mean to be mean and would probably be sad if she knew I was crying because of our conversation. Hubo got home at exactly the right time, so I was comforted.
I talked about the “home team” on the Gentle Christian Mothers’ board, “a speaker once told me and dh that “you are the home team. When you have children, they are on the home team. Other than that, no one else is going to ever be on your home team.” Every situation, every conflict should be based on the idea that it is your family first. No one is welcome to infiltrate your team. When the girls up and marry, they will be on their own home teams.
This means that my home team is me, Small and my husband. Not you. No friends. Not our siblings or our parents. I am going to remember this and be loyal to my home team and try to be kind to everyone.