I’m up and down. Therapy is going well and my husband and I are going to go to marital counseling and he is cool with it. Last time we had any sort of family therapy the social worker said she’d never met such resistance. There wasn’t resistance, it’s just that my husband is shy and very private I keep some things to myself. I’ll participate in therapeutic groups, but I am guarded. My new psychologist pointed out that every time she tried to steer things about my marriage I guided that boat away. I went to a counselor and I didn’t bring my husband up for over a year and she respected that. Not exactly relevant and we will see how therapy goes. We have been on three dates in the last two and a half. It’s kind of ridiculous. If I’m not on top of things we don’t spend any time alone at all. Ah, I’m complaining.
March 27, 2012
Just Married! (For ten years)
I wonder if you read the Break (the blog entry above this one). I may do the yoga tonight as prescribed and I really hope I do. It’s the only time I feel in control. I don’t know how spending 30 minutes doing one thing effects your whole day. I have a good idea how a pill or a drink do, though. It might be the same with the exercise. I’m sure there are people I could ask (hello, Hubo?) but I don’t want to know. Not now anyway. I feel like I need to get my lifer in order. I just realized that I say that all the time, and that I do not know what it means. It meant getting my weight under control and reading my Bible. It’s time to re-evaluate. I don’t know exactly where to start. My work book given to me by my therapist is about automatic thoughts and emotions and how to look at things reasonably. I’m not so great about that, but everyone has a place to start, right? The psychologist said I was better off than a lot of her other clients. I did creative things, had good organizational skills and worked towards getting well. A lot of hers just lay on the couch and watch t.v. all the time. I remind myself of this. It is possible for me to be better, but my life is worth living. I just want more from it