I am almost legally a small business owner. I just need to finish up the expensive notices and fees and all sorts of b.s. that I didn’t realize I had to do. I see why people say you should have X amount of money saved before you dive into it. Well, I didn’t. I’m in the middle of this.
Another expense will be clothes. I do have clothes, praise be to the Lord, that because I’ve lost 30+ pounds. I had to wear a dress to drop off cards and am wearing slacks with a chartreuse shirt because I have to deal with some government officials today. I haven’t had to dress up for work since the 20th century. Most of the time I hang in lounge pants, though. Who wants to get glitter on your best rags?
Pay Pal surprised me, too. I have to pay $.30 a transaction plus 3%. It takes four days for money to transfer from that account to my business account. Because of this waiting period, I have to make two trips down-town because I won’t have access to that cash until next week. I’m already eleven days over due when it comes to the fictitious name filing.
I can be a jump in with both feet kind of person. I also can be studious and measured. In this endeavor I am more the first rather than the last.
I’ll keep you up to date.
Movies and New Generation dolls are Small’s choice of self-expression. She makes movies with her pink Hello Kitty camera and I post them on youtube. Today, in humble observance of Marcel Nunis’ Live your life as Art Day, we went to the park and recorded some takes. There were two little boys there, discussing whether or not their guardians could speak English. The mother of one could. The grandfather could not.
We decided we were done filming for the day and Small, now seven, walked up the steps to go down the slide. One of the little boys asked her in all seriousness, “Will you marry me?”
Tell him no, I whispered to my daughter. “No.” She said.
Then he had a few questions and words of advice. “Is that a doll or is that a baby?” “She should be wearing shoes. It is cold out here.”
“I will put them on her when I find them,” she replied.
After a while I told her it was time to go. She headed back and the little boy ran up to me and asked, “Can I have a date with her?”
I said no, she was too young for that. To tell you the truth, though, I disagree that she is too young. Being twenty-five or forty-five does not make you a more reliable or truer lover than a seven year old. Maybe we will see that little boy again soon. Maybe it will be at the altar while she walks down the aisle. Grandpa may speak perfect English by that time. I have no way of knowing what will happen to him. There are men who ask every woman they date to marry them. Maybe he will become one of those guys. Or maybe my daughter really is special in his heart and he will never forget her.
We had her birthday party and it was really nice. We had about three kids there for the first hour. My husband asked me if I was anxious about it, and I wasn’t. I was surprised. It wasn’t like I was having symptoms of anxiety and was calming myself down from them. I just wasn’t anxious; not at all.
Eventually a lot more kids got there. They had a wonderful time in the cold pool and with the crafts. There was pizza. I could talk about how various people annoyed me, but why bother. I’m only writing about the party so people don’t have to ask how it went. It was good, maybe it was my favorite birthday she’s had. Happy Birthday, Size Small!
I read some posts from January and I am struck with how differently I sound when I’m depressed. There is no joy. There is a lot of survival and assessment of the situation. I don’t tell myself, “Okay, you’ve been through this before, you can do it again.” I fear that I closely survived the last bout but may not this one. If I can nip it in the bud, I recognize patterns, but if it gets beyond that, it is difficult to fight the illness.
I have a question for you, gentle reader:
You were given $35 to do what ever you wanted to. Would you (a) spend it on arts and crafts supplies or (b) save it so you can get your poor dyed auburn/red hair with lots of gray and dark brown roots colored professionally?
I can’t decide. The art supplies include embossing plates that say, “thank you” and “happy birthday” so they would help me bless others. Having good hair is a way to bless others, too.