Tag Archives: serotonin syndrome

Serotonin

Okay, first of all, I hate taking pills. I do, dutifully, and I know it keeps me both feet outside of the psychiatric floor. I go to the doctor, I fill the prescription and I spend upwards of $100 a month on them. I have very good insurance or that would be closer to $1,000 a month.

Because my brain fights back, however, I am prone to Serotonin Syndrome. That’s when you’ve got too much serotonin in your brain. It is generally caused by taking anti-depressants, and it can kill you. I’ve had it three times. Once it put me in to an outpatient program and the other just put me in bed for three days. I already feel like my brain has squeezed out all of the good feeling hormones and given me a head ache.

I hate this.

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More about being “happy”.

I’ve been taken completely off my precious Zoloft. I’m tense, I’m tight, I’m troubled. I’ve exercised, done those stress reducing “around the worlds” (A work out more mild than this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdy1YEupxio but similar in scope). But, according to my family, I’m much better. So there is it there.

The doctor wanted me to apologize to my husband for the things I said during my time on Zoloft. I was very helpful, telling him things like, if a guy were 7 out of 10 nice to me, I would sleep with him. I didn’t remember ever saying that, or anything like that, but I don’t think he is a liar. The doctor explained that while someone is experiencing Serotonin Syndrdom it is like they are drunk. They say and do things they wouldn’t normally do. I think that’s true, to some extent. I don’t have the same itch for shopping, my appetite is less than it was. I’m not there yet.
* * * * I’ve been taken completely off my precious Zoloft. I’m tense, I’m tight, I’m troubled. I’ve exercised, done those stress reducing “around the worlds” (A work out more mild than this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdy1YEupxio but similar in scope). But, according to my family, I’m much better. So there is it there.

The doctor wanted me to apologize to my husband for the things I said during my time on Zoloft. I was very helpful, telling him things like, if a guy were 7 out of 10 nice to me, I would sleep with him. I didn’t remember ever saying that, or anything like that, but I don’t think he is a liar. The doctor explained that while someone is experiencing Serotonin Syndrdom it is like they are drunk. They say and do things they wouldn’t normally do. I think that’s true, to some extent. I don’t have the same itch for shopping, my appetite is less than it was. I’m not there yet.
* * * *
I’ve been taken completely off my precious Zoloft. I’m tense, I’m tight, I’m troubled. I’ve exercised, done those stress reducing “around the worlds” (A work out more mild than this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdy1YEupxio but similar in scope). But, according to my family, I’m much better. So there is it there.

The doctor wanted me to apologize to my husband for the things I said during my time on Zoloft. I was very helpful, telling him things like, if a guy were 7 out of 10 nice to me, I would sleep with him. I didn’t remember ever saying that, or anything like that, but I don’t think he is a liar. The doctor explained that while someone is experiencing Serotonin Syndrdom it is like they are drunk. They say and do things they wouldn’t normally do. I think that’s true, to some extent. I don’t have the same itch for shopping, my appetite is less than it was. I’m not there yet.
* * * *I’ve been taken completely off my precious Zoloft. I’m tense, I’m tight, I’m troubled. I’ve exercised, done those stress reducing “around the worlds” (A work out more mild than this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdy1YEupxio but similar in scope). But, according to my family, I’m much better. So there is it there.

The doctor wanted me to apologize to my husband for the things I said during my time on Zoloft. I was very helpful, telling him things like, if a guy were 7 out of 10 nice to me, I would sleep with him. I didn’t remember ever saying that, or anything like that, but I don’t think he is a liar. The doctor explained that while someone is experiencing Serotonin Syndrdom it is like they are drunk. They say and do things they wouldn’t normally do. I think that’s true, to some extent. I don’t have the same itch for shopping, my appetite is less than it was. I’m not there yet.
* * * * * * * ** * * ** * * ** * * ** * * ** * * *
Today the teacher asked me to trace and cut out something for her Halloween projects. I whispered to her that my hands shake and I can’t cut well. You should see the circle I tried to cut for a paper craft deal. She told me she noticed that. She wanted to know more about the situation, but I’m not about to become the mental patient that complained about her. Oh, and the principal TOLD her that I met and complained about her. I thought it would be obvious that I didn’t believe he would have singled me out. My baby may face retribution and that you would find me every last day in that classroom. Not my first choice, but maybe my only. I could pull her out and homeschool her but just about everyone I know, here, and my family is totally against it. They think I’m crazy. I’m not. Just like the teacher my grandmother had as a child, attending school in a circus tent with the woman who was sane with the papers to prove it, I feel like I need to assert my own sanity. I am okay. I’ve been told by a psychiatrist that I “wasn’t crazy, you’re bipolar”. I was told by my long-time psychologist that I was “one of the least crazy people (she) knows”. And lastly, I was asked three separate times if I worked in the behavior health centers. Except for the shaking, I should pass. So, when will the shaking stop? Anyone who knows anything about Lithium or it’s friends knows that is what is going on. The teacher asked, “Are they working on it?” I said, “yes” even though they’re not. There working on these weird, going to have an affair, issues, rather than shaking issues. In the long run, it’s probably a good idea. I don’t need to screw up my whole life and not shake. What good would that be?

I’ll sign off with this. I got a very kind email asking my advice: Should I go to the hospital or not. I’m not suicidal. I don’t have a plan, I just need a break. Oh, sister have I been there. I suggested she get a hotel room for a couple of days and sleep as much as she can. Do nothing, no laundry, no cooking, no cleaning. Thinking back a one time housecleaner might not be such a bad idea. I hope she decides to do this. I know it’s a stretch, money-wise, but it’s important that we take care of ourselves, and let others pick up the slack sometimes.

When I’m sick, one thing I do that my husband hates is that I ask people to do things. Our neighbor sprayed our house (I know, you think that’s terrible) because of the dangerous spiders our kids were fascinated with. My husband was irate about the whole thing, until I emphasized I wasn’t asking him, he offered. I don’t know why that made a difference. I didn’t ask for anything illegal or immoral.

I think that’s all for today. It’s 9:07 and I’ve eaten three pieces of candy. The house is guarding me from the passionate wind. It’s not like our beloved shack in Oakland, which shook a little, so I could tell it was doing it’s job. Strangely it takes more faith to believe this place is safe. Or maybe it’s just me.

Signing off – Malakoa