Sure, it’s only one-ish, but so far I haven’t done anything more giving than letting the guy in the car to the left of me in a four-way stop the opportunity to go first. Generous, right?
I spent the morning at Weight Watchers, where I am down .8 pounds. “They” want you to lose between .5-2 pounds a week. So, I’m on track. Good because for the later half of the week I did not tracking and ate two pieces of Oreo Cheesecake. If that sounds disgusting, that’s because it is. After Weight Watchers T and I went to Barnes and Nobles and looked at books on color and paper. It was a pleasant three hours, and I love that T has the time to spend and wants to with me. I found a wonderful book on creating cards and that took me all that time to get through. It is one of those books that I could spend another three hours garnering ideas from. Maybe I will go back with T next week. Or maybe we will eat pizza and finish it off with Coldstone. (All within walking distance from Weight Watchers, of course.)
What can I give today? I’m just not good at it. I’m good at asking other people to give. T bought the coffee. A few seconds ago I texted LS to see if she could watch Small during the parent/teacher conference tomorrow. I am prepared to hear that Small is average in all her subjects and runs her mouth. But maybe there will be surprises.
Back to the giving. Is cleaning the house a form of giving? Making gifts? Talking to my mostly deaf father?
During the writing of this blog, my dad called. He he can’t hear very much at all, but he can think. Interestingly enough, a few times we’ve been in a group conversation, and I’ll say something. The next thing out of his mouth is a very close paraphrase. My dad is a very smart, wise, deaf man. To be on the wavelength where he’s thinking is almost an honor.
I have to look out for something to do for someone today. Grrr. I didn’t think this would be so hard. I am just discovering how self-centered I actually am.
I’ve been ranting the last few days, and I am going to give all of you a break. I’m in a kind of weird situation with our babysitter. She’s middle aged and a mom of twenty year old twins. I’m paying her $100 a week, or $20 a day. During my training period I didn’t even break even. She was really grateful for the job. She also has an afternoon job, but clearly needs the $100.
She’s had some serious health problems, and is applying for emergency medicaid. She needs a surgeon and there are some who will see her, but they need $350 up front. Oh, how I wish I could just write her a check. Compared even to my job that most more to go to than to have childcare, compared even to that, we are very wealthy. I would like to be able to write that check to her, only asking she keep her promise to not tell anyone. B and I are praying about it. Maybe we will be able to do so. Maybe we can just eat a little bit away from it. But God’s going to do what God’s going to do.
I’m up .8 pounds, which is really not that big of a deal, especially because I haven’t been exercising and I have been eating up all the bonus points. I intend to switch things up a bit. As far as Weight Watchers goes, I have been thinking mostly about Points Plus and nothing to what I [i]should[/i] be eating. I’m going to up my vegetables and fruits and even my water. I find it disappointing to chart such things, as I realize I don’t eat the way I want to eat. I find myself wanting to be a Weight Watcher’s minion, and I also find myself eating without measuring like they like. They fight against me. It’s time for me to fight back.
I love See’s chocolate candies. I’m crazy about them. I ate a pound in an hour once.
But I’m losing weight. I’m on Weight Watchers, which lets me eat what I want – but helps you decide to eat two pieces of pizza instead of the whole darn thing. I’ve lost 12.2 pounds since December 5th and there is little reason to suspect I will stop. However….
My mom is overweight and always had been. She’s been kind enough to pay for my Weight Watchers and brags to everyone about all I’ve done. So, I don’t know if it’s purposeful or not, but she is the one person who shows the signs of a saboteur.
For example, we met for lunch. Small had to go to the bath room so I left my order with her and took Small to the restroom. When the food came it was about twice of what I ordered. I wanted a taco, she ordered me the meal, with a big sloppy, delicious, plate of beans and rice. It wasn’t her fault I ate most of it, but she didn’t help.
I keep losing weight. My mom announces she wants to add some chocolate to her diet and wants to get a box of See’s.
WHAT!?! It’s like just a little hint of heroin. I disagreed. I want to be lean. I want chocolate, too, but I’m at a place in my life I’d rather be a lean 35 year old than a chocolate eating 35 year old. And I’m at a point where I look at the way my mom acts and I see she’d opt for the fat me.